Posts

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My Birthday Wish

Today is yet another reminder that you are no longer by my side.
I think about you the moment I wake up from the time I go to sleep.
Your smile, I now see in my dreams.
At times, I wish to stay asleep.

The footprints that mark the sand are single steps.
The mark you made is on my heart.
Although it cannot be seen, it does exist.
As I listen to the wind, I long to hear your voice.
I remember the warmth and love we shared.
The waves are crashing as the tide is rushing in.

I long for you to take my hand.
My hand is cold and lacks love and belonging in this dark world.
As I stand along the beach, longing for your embrace.

The embrace I long for is gone. The love I long for is gone. I sit solo with the waves crashing in, longing for something I will never have.

Today is yet another reminder that I am older and you are frozen in time.
Will you still want me when we meet again and I am frail and gray? Will you smile at me the same?

As I close my eyes and hear the waves, I listen to my heart and hear you whisper my name in the wind. My birthday wish is you. It will always be you.

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If My Balloon Reaches Heaven

I have a message for you:

A list of all the times I told you, “I love you,”

A thousand times is not enough

All the things I wanted to say, yet thought I could tomorrow

All the times, I should have said, “I’m sorry,”

Or the times I should have let you have the last word

My dreams and all the wishes that will never come true

I will never share your last name

Nor grow old with you by my side

The ache in the pit of my stomach, every time I hear your name

Is more that I can write on this notecard

I close my eyes and kiss the card with fresh lipstick

When I close my eyes, I picture your loving face

Like a snapshot in my mind

I see your bright eyes, and the smile you gave only to me

I know red was your favorite color

I watch it rise on this gray and cloudy day

The red is vibrant, yet it does not hurt my red puffy eyes

There is a gust of wind and I button my coat

It rises higher and higher

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Monarch Butterfly

The monarch butterfly has wide golden wings accented with black

This golden orange color vibrant and full of life

Butterflies represent a new life and a new beginning

I try to get a better look at the golden wings and I follow with my eyes

The butterfly moves ever so quickly, before I know it I am running

My legs are unable to run fast enough

As I run, I find myself finding the new beginning in me.

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Sunflower

Sunflower painting by Maria A. Gardner.
Sunflowers are my favorite flower and remind me of sunshine and hope.
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Change

Live in the present. The current moment in time is all we have. The past is gone and we only move forward in time.

Enjoy the flowers that bloom and the new buds on the trees. Listen to the birds chirping and singing in their morning song. Do you see it? Do you hear it?

Seasons change and so do loved ones. Forgiveness is the true freedom and the key to living.

Find joy in the beauty around you. This is your walk. Open your heart in order to see the beauty of the present moment in time, for it too shall pass us by like a feather in the wind.