If My Balloon Reaches Heaven

I have a message for you:

A list of all the times I told you, “I love you,”

A thousand times is not enough

All the things I wanted to say, yet thought I could tomorrow

All the times, I should have said, “I’m sorry,”

Or the times I should have let you have the last word

My dreams and all the wishes that will never come true

I will never share your last name

Nor grow old with you by my side

The ache in the pit of my stomach, every time I hear your name

Is more that I can write on this notecard

I close my eyes and kiss the card with fresh lipstick

When I close my eyes, I picture your loving face

Like a snapshot in my mind

I see your bright eyes, and the smile you gave only to me

I know red was your favorite color

I watch it rise on this gray and cloudy day

The red is vibrant, yet it does not hurt my red puffy eyes

There is a gust of wind and I button my coat

It rises higher and higher