“Pink Sands” painting.
Drawing of Prince.
A Visit From Heaven
Will she ever find the butterfly?
Will she ever find the golden wings?
Others have seen it.
Others have seen this special moment.
She waits patiently for that moment.
She waits to see the transition.
Why hasn’t it appeared to her?
Why hasn’t she had the visit?
She discovered it wasn’t ready.
She discovered he wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
You
You are with me and I think of you.
I remember your smile and how you made me feel special.
When I received text messages from you, I smiled.
I miss you more than I can say.
There is an existing pain that never goes away.
Triggers are everywhere and I am unable to prepare myself.
When they hit, it is like a hard fall.
I get up, yet I am not the same without you.
Although I smile, I am not okay.
This is wrong and terribly unfair.
To have lost you is cruel.
The loss of you is more than I can bare.
A piece of me is gone.
The better part of me is you.
Magic
There is something magical when we look at one another.
Our eyes lock and I see my future.
This excites me, yet scares me at the same time.
Missing Him
He makes me smile.
He makes me laugh.
And now, he makes me cry.
I miss him so much.
How can anyone go from seeing and talking everyday to nothing?
I am still in disbelief.
I miss my handsome prince.
Even after dating for five years, he still opened doors for me and held my hand at the movies.
I miss that smile and seeing my future in his bright blue eyes.
My love, you forever have my heart.
Questions
Have you ever wanted to call someone, but you cannot?
Have you ever wanted to be held, but that person is no longer there?
Have you ever wanted to tell someone you loved them one last time?
You cannot do these things because they are gone.
This is not a choice.
This is final.
How do you cope?
How do you follow all the possible slogans you heard your whole life about being positive?
Guess what? You cannot.
The little bubble of a world you lived in no longer exist.
There is deep pain.
Tomorrow is not better, and everything is not okay.
Although you go about your day and do what needs to be done, on the inside the pain remains.
The pain never goes away and a part of you is gone.
Chasing Butterflies
Butterflies have vibrant wings and fly carefree in the wind.
They travel from flower to flower making their mark.
Their wings are distinctive and special in their own way.
As they glide, they send messages containing all one’s hopes and dreams.
Some dreams, we carry with us and others are lost along the way.
When we see butterflies, we are reminded of our youth and how time passes by.
Like caterpillars transforming into butterflies, we too take another form from child to adult.
Although we are different, in some ways we are the same.
One day, we also find our wings and fly.
Similar to butterflies, we too are one of a kind.
Butterflies travel from flower to flower.
With a blink of an eye, the moment passes us by.
When we look, we must be able to see and remember our hopes and dreams.
Like our lives, our future is unknown.
We do not know when the moment will be gone, nor when our special loved one will take a new form.
The present must be embraced, we must look at the butterfly and see it.
The past is gone.
This precious moment too, will pass us by.
Before we know it, we are chasing butterflies.
The Grief Journey
The path I planned to travel was much different
Nothing prepared me to lose you
For you are my heart and now I feel incomplete
My life without you by my side, pains me to my core
Never have I felt such loneliness
The world I now see is much different
My eyes burn from all the tears I have shed
Colors are too bright and intense, hurting my eyes
Music I once loved is difficult to hear without crying
Crowds are over stimulating, I cannot breathe
Laughter echoes in my head, hurting my ears
Some days are difficult to get out of bed
For I do not wish to take part in the day
The things that I once loved have lost meaning
Instead of participating in the day, my wish is to get through the day
I smile to mask my pain, for happiness has vanished
The grief journey, is the most difficult road to travel
I miss you most in the silence of the day
The journey is dark, cold and ever so lonely
I sit alone in my room, longing to be held
