Month: October 2020

Have you ever wanted to call someone, but you cannot?

Have you ever wanted to be held, but that person is no longer there?

Have you ever wanted to tell someone you loved them one last time?

You cannot do these things because they are gone.

This is not a choice.

This is final.

How do you cope?

How do you follow all the possible slogans you heard your whole life about being positive?

Guess what? You cannot.

The little bubble of a world you lived in no longer exist.

There is deep pain.

Tomorrow is not better, and everything is not okay.

Although you go about your day and do what needs to be done, on the inside the pain remains.

The pain never goes away and a part of you is gone.

Butterflies have vibrant wings and fly carefree in the wind.

They travel from flower to flower making their mark.

Their wings are distinctive and special in their own way. 

As they glide, they send messages containing all one’s hopes and dreams.

Some dreams, we carry with us and others are lost along the way.

When we see butterflies, we are reminded of our youth and how time passes by.

Like caterpillars transforming into butterflies, we too take another form from child to adult.

Although we are different, in some ways we are the same.

One day, we also find our wings and fly.

Similar to butterflies, we too are one of a kind.

Butterflies travel from flower to flower.

With a blink of an eye, the moment passes us by.

When we look, we must be able to see and remember our hopes and dreams.

Like our lives, our future is unknown.

We do not know when the moment will be gone, nor when our special loved one will take a new form.

The present must be embraced, we must look at the butterfly and see it.

The past is gone.

This precious moment too, will pass us by.

Before we know it, we are chasing butterflies.

The path I planned to travel was much different

Nothing prepared me to lose you

For you are my heart and now I feel incomplete

My life without you by my side, pains me to my core

Never have I felt such loneliness

The world I now see is much different

My eyes burn from all the tears I have shed

Colors are too bright and intense, hurting my eyes

Music I once loved is difficult to hear without crying

Crowds are over stimulating, I cannot breathe

Laughter echoes in my head, hurting my ears

Some days are difficult to get out of bed

For I do not wish to take part in the day

The things that I once loved have lost meaning

Instead of participating in the day, my wish is to get through the day

I smile to mask my pain, for happiness has vanished

The grief journey, is the most difficult road to travel

I miss you most in the silence of the day

The journey is dark, cold and ever so lonely

I sit alone in my room, longing to be held