My Birthday Wish
Today is yet another reminder that you are no longer by my side.
I think about you the moment I wake up from the time I go to sleep.
Your smile, I now see in my dreams.
At times, I wish to stay asleep.
The footprints that mark the sand are single steps.
The mark you made is on my heart.
Although it cannot be seen, it does exist.
As I listen to the wind, I long to hear your voice.
I remember the warmth and love we shared.
The waves are crashing as the tide is rushing in.
I long for you to take my hand.
My hand is cold and lacks love and belonging in this dark world.
As I stand along the beach, longing for your embrace.
The embrace I long for is gone. The love I long for is gone. I sit solo with the waves crashing in, longing for something I will never have.
Today is yet another reminder that I am older and you are frozen in time.
Will you still want me when we meet again and I am frail and gray? Will you smile at me the same?
As I close my eyes and hear the waves, I listen to my heart and hear you whisper my name in the wind. My birthday wish is you. It will always be you.
If My Balloon Reaches Heaven
I have a message for you:
A list of all the times I told you, “I love you,”
A thousand times is not enough
All the things I wanted to say, yet thought I could tomorrow
All the times, I should have said, “I’m sorry,”
Or the times I should have let you have the last word
My dreams and all the wishes that will never come true
I will never share your last name
Nor grow old with you by my side
The ache in the pit of my stomach, every time I hear your name
Is more that I can write on this notecard
I close my eyes and kiss the card with fresh lipstick
When I close my eyes, I picture your loving face
Like a snapshot in my mind
I see your bright eyes, and the smile you gave only to me
I know red was your favorite color
I watch it rise on this gray and cloudy day
The red is vibrant, yet it does not hurt my red puffy eyes
There is a gust of wind and I button my coat
It rises higher and higher